Sat 29th August 2015
Congratulations on your decision to tie the knot. No doubt you have spent a lot of time, effort and money in preparation for your big day and probably very little time on what happens afterwards. Of course you are head over heels in love with each other BUT do you really know what you are letting yourself in for? Read on...
The decision to get married is a very important one and is not to be entered into lightly.
Marriage is a covenant not a contract!
A covenant is a solemn unconditional agreement with unlimited liability between two persons who have a commitment to each other and have pledged loyalty to one another until death do part. This contrasts with a contract, which is a conditional agreement with limited liability over a finite period of time with loopholes to escape the terms and conditions of the agreement.
The following are the unique characteristics of a marriage covenant
An Exchange of Identity An Exchange of Strength
An Exchange of Strength
- My strength will be our strength. My money is our money. Your debts are our debts.
An Exchange of Adversaries
- Your enemy shall be my enemy. Whoever comes against you comes against me. Together we are united against our adversaries and committed to tackling challenges and difficulties together
The walk of death
- This happens when the man pops the question. For the woman, it is when she walks down the aisle. There is no going back as it is till death do us part.
- The sign that represents your commitment to one another. With this ring I thee wed. Wear it with pride. Never take it off.
An Exchange of name
- The name you are now to be called. You will no longer be called master or miss but Mr & Mrs ...
The consummation of the marriage
- Finally the marriage covenant is sealed as the husband and wife come together for the first time in the act of sex after exchanging their vows and promises to one another. This is the consummation of the marriage.
In an ideal world this should be the first time for both the man and the woman. For those who have attained this standard we say well done. Maintain it till the big day.
Alas for many of us (men and women) this is not the case.
If you have done it with previous ex's but not yet with each other, again we say well done and wait till the big day.
If you are doing it with each other at present, may we respectfully suggest that you both make a commitment "not to do it" till the big day. Remember you will be doing it together for the rest of your lives. You will find it is worth waiting for.
Action to take
- Understand the meaning of a marriage covenant and reaffirm your decision to go ahead.
- Disclose to one another your strengths (income, fixed assets, investments, etc.) and your weaknesses (e.g. debts, loans, credit card bills etc.) plus any other thing you think may be an issue were it to come out in the future
- The men must purchase and pay for their brides' rings and the women should prepare for the change of name.
- You can now both plan your wedding ceremony and look forward to your marriage beginning with that first night of the honeymoon.
We wish you every success in your marriage and pray that your marriage will be filled with joy, peace and love; that your marriage will stand the test of time and that your marriage will be blessed with an abundance of every good thing, Amen.
Please let us know if you have found this helpful by emailing your comments to: firstname.lastname@example.org